My Interview with Haruka
by Humor Queen Merc
Summary: What happens when you interview one of the cast from Sailor Moon? Sweet sports cars and killing of the interviewer, just for starters.


Author's Notes - Here's the next installment! I got this one out so fast because a lot of people have been requesting it, so enjoy. ^^  
  
Shameless Plug - VISIT MY SITE AT www.geocities.com/merc1650! Please? For me? For the stories? Think of the funny pics you'll see! XD  
  
By - Merc  
  
My Interview With Haruka  
  
  
Me: Hello and welcome to yet another interview by me! To make sure that this interview goes without interruptions I've taken the liberty to hire the Chinese Mafia to guard me and I even replaced the old door with a quadruple-lock steel one! So to get on with business, after a few months in the hospital due to excessive head trauma and a broken nose I am back with a new guy! This person was recommended by Setsuna, the girl I last interviewed! Hello Haruka!  
  
Haruka: Hi...  
  
Me: You're the first guy I've interviewed!   
  
Haruka: Yeah sure...  
  
*Suddenly 5 screams are heard outside and a bunch of clicks. Mina and Michiru then burst in.*  
  
Mina: THAT IS NOT A BOY!!!  
  
Me: What?  
  
Michiru: HARUKY-WOOKY!!!  
  
Mina: THAT IS NOT A BOY!!!   
  
Me: And how would you know?  
  
Mina: Because I used to have a crush on her before I saw her at the pool!   
  
Me: Uh-huh...  
  
Haruka: Oh boy...  
  
*A bunch of shouting, a fight, a lot of bullets, 20 Band-Aids, the paramedics, and 3,000 dollars for the Chinese Mafia later...*  
  
Me: And we are back with Haruka!   
  
Haruka: (Waving at the paramedics) AND YOU HAD BETTER TAKE CARE OF MICHIRU OR I'LL...huh? Oh yeah hi.  
  
Me: Uh...yeah, so anyway, how old are you?  
  
Haruka: Sweet 16.  
  
Me: Cool! So, do you have a job?   
  
Haruka: Yup I do! I'm a race/test car driver! (In the manga she was a test driver)  
  
Me: Whoa, well that wasn't what I expected. More on the lines of McDonalds is what I thought a typical teenager would work at...  
  
Haruka: Yeah well welcome to the 90's.  
  
Me: Actually it's the 00's.  
  
Haruka: Whatever.  
  
Me: So do ya own a car?  
  
Haruka: A red sports convertible and a Harley motorcycle.  
  
Me: HOLY COW!!! WHAT DO THESE PEOPLE PAY YOU?!?!  
  
Haruka: A lot.  
  
Me: So, do ya have a boyfriend?  
  
Haruka: Nope...I have my Michiru!  
  
Me: Would that be the blonde chick who I had interviewed earlier or the green-haired model?  
  
Haruka: The green-haired model! That's my Michiru!  
  
Me: Uh-huh...I don't think I'll press this topic any longer...*ahem* SO...what's 2 + 2?  
  
Haruka: 4  
  
Me: I'm going to say a place and tell me the first word that comes to your mind.  
  
Haruka: Ok...  
  
Me: Germany.  
  
Haruka: Beer.  
  
Me: Australia.  
  
Haruka: Snakes.  
  
Me: Hmm, I thought you were gonna say kangaroos but oh well! The next place is America.  
  
Haruka: Food.  
  
Me: India.  
  
Haruka: Angry farmers with pitchforks trying to kill my butt after I accidentally hit, not killed, but slightly injured, a cow.  
  
Me: More than one word but pretty humorous nevertheless.  
  
Haruka: Yeah well...taught me to never race there! My poor little Michiru was so worried...  
  
Me: Yeah...so who's your favorite Sailor Scout?  
  
Haruka: Pardon?  
  
Me: Well, I just watched a thing on the news last night where there was some sort of costume party in Tokyo and more than half of the people came dressed as Sailor Scouts.  
  
Haruka: Uh-huh...well I'd have to say Sailor Uranus because...  
  
*Suddenly Haruka is cut off but a bunch of hollering and shooting outside the door. There are 5 muffled screams before the door suddenly blows open courtesy of some homemade explosives. In barges Serena, handcuffs and all, looking VERY disgruntled.*  
  
Serena: YOU'RE FROM THE NEGAVERSE AREN'T YOU?!?!?!  
  
Haruka: WHAT?!?!  
  
Me: @#$%&*!!!  
  
Serena: DIE YOU IMPOSTER!!!  
  
*Serena suddenly grabs one of the guns laying on a comatose Chinese Mafia member and begins to pull the trigger. Little does she know that the safety is on.*  
  
Serena: OH BLAST IT!!!  
  
*Serena turns the gun around and, like before with Setsuna's time key, begins to bash Merc repeatedly over the head with it as Haruka just stands bewildered to whatever is going on.*  
  
Me: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!  
  
Serena: DIE!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
*WHAM!!!*  
*WHAM!!!*  
  
Me: (Half dead) uuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh...  
  
Serena: Hehe, that oughta do it!  
  
Me: (Still half dead) must...call...911...  
  
Serena: You're still alive?  
  
*WHAM!!!*  
*WHAM!!!*  
*WHAM!!!*  
*WHAM!!!*  
*WHAM!!!*  
*WHAM!!!*  
  
Me: ...  
  
Haruka: I think I'll just be going now...  
  
Serena: I AM SAILOR MOON THE MIGHTY!!! MWA HA HA   
HA!!!   
  
  
The End  
  
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